My life feels like it’s been a series of “befores” and “afters”. Before that first flare up—before PANS—and after it. Before my worst flare at age eleven, and after. I feel like I was a different person in each of those time frames. I was someone, a girl I no longer remember, when at four,... Continue Reading →
Those Who Leave and Those Who Stay
PANS has beat me down and broken me so many times in the past decade, I’ve lost count. Sometimes I feel as if the pieces of me that were supposed to make me who I’m meant to be got lost somewhere in the wreckage. As if they’re somewhere in the ashes in my wake—the ashes... Continue Reading →
My Story
I was four and a half when it started. In all honesty, I don’t remember a lot from that first flare, only a few shards of memories reflecting back at me. I remember standing at drop off for preschool, crying and screaming and begging my mom not to leave me. I didn’t know why, only... Continue Reading →
PANS and Me
I was 15 when I was diagnosed with PANS (Pediatric Acute-onset Neuropsychiatric Syndrome), an autoimmune disorder that causes inflammation of the brain--and in turn, an array of seemingly random symptoms. At four, I had my first flare-up. Because of this, I've spent as much of my life as I can remember feeling different, as if... Continue Reading →
A Girl of Broken Glass 